Home Shit Home
by melmzzz
Summary: Chapter 36 of "The Raven Boys" from Ronan's point of view.


Ronan guided the BMW up the dirt road, his lights off because he knew Adam wouldn't want his parents to see him in this car.

"The buck stops here." Ronan said, pulling up the handbrake. "Home shit home."

He peered out into the dark at the double-wide trailer, moonlight glinting faintly off the roof. He noticed a movement in the window as the curtain was pulled back to reveal a woman, Adam's mother, watching them. Ronan felt his hands moisten with sweat. He didn't like being watched.

Beside him, Adam reached back for his messenger bag. His hand hovered over the door handle, trembling. He glanced back at Ronan.

"Thanks for the ride." Adam's voice was soft, low in the silence of the car.

Out of the corner of his eye, Ronan caught another movement from the direction of the trailer. Both boys looked over to notice another figure joining the first in the window. Robert Parrish. Ronan instantly felt cold.

"Man, you don't have to get out here." Ronan kept his voice even, though it was more a plea than a statement.

"Don't you have homework to do?" Adam was avoiding the comment. Ronan let him.

"Yes, Parrish. I believe I do." But Adam didn't get out.

"Do you think they'll arrest Whelk before class tomorrow?" He knew Whelk wouldn't be stupid enough to show his face around school after what he did to Gansey. He just wanted to keep Adam in the safety of his BMW for as long as humanly possible. If he could, he'd keep him there forever. If he could, he'd shift the car into reverse and speed down the road they'd come and leave this place behind forever.

But he knew Adam wouldn't ever run away from this place. If he left, he'd leave triumphantly. He'd leave with a big fat 'fuck you' to his dad, and maybe he'd even leave _him_ with a black eye for once.

"If he shows up for class, I think that the reading will be the least of his concerns."

The car was uncomfortably quiet then, tension feeling the air, Adam not wanting to go, Ronan not wanting him to leave, both boys stalling for time.

"I better go feed the bird." Ronan's voice broke the silence. He said it to keep things light between them, to diffuse the tension. But he wondered if it came out as him wanting Adam to get out. That was the last thing his wanted. He trained his eyes on the gearshift, unwilling to look at Adam's face, scared he would say something stupid to scare him into that house.

So instead, he said, "I keep thinking about what would've happened if Whelk had shot Gansey today."

He heard Adam shift uncomfortably in his seat. He had thought about it the whole drive there. He didn't know what he would do without Gansey. He kept him sane, he kept him in school, he kept him happy. Or as happy as Ronan could allow himself to be under the circumstances. Gansey had brought so much good into Ronan's life. Without Gansey, there would be no Adam, no Noah. Without Gansey he would have dropped out of school a long time ago. Without Gansey, Declan would have made sure he never saw either of his brothers ever again. He owed Gansey a lot, and he couldn't imagine living his life without him.

His thoughts drifted back to the tree in Cabeswater, and what he had seen. Gansey, dead, and Adam, clearly the culprit. He allowed himself a moment to wonder what could possibly have lead the trembling boy beside him to do such a thing, then quickly pushed it to the back of his mind. The tree had lied, that was the only explanation. But he remained stoic.

"But he didn't."

"Yeah."

"Lucky you taught him that hook."

"I never taught him to break his thumb."

"That's Gansey for you. Only learns enough to be superficially competent."

Ronan's heart settled, feeling calmer. "Loser," Ronan replied.

Adam had a way of making you forget the serious things, which was odd considering everything in his life was so goddamned heavy. Adam carried three times his weight in unjustified guilt on his shoulders, put there by his asshole father. He wished he could do for Adam what Adam did for him.

Adam nodded. He looked like he was bracing himself a blow, and Ronan wondered how accurate that was going to be. "See you tomorrow. Thanks again." His hand reached for the door handle again.

Ronan looked out into the night, hands braced on the steering wheel, twisting around it furiously. Something dropped in the pit of his stomach. Nothing about that night felt right. He was about two seconds away from begging Adam not to go into that house. Instead, he focused on his hands around the steering wheel. He'd stay until Adam got inside, maybe even for a while after, just to make sure everything was okay. That would make him feel better.

"No problem, man. See you tomorrow."

He heard Adam sigh, and he felt his fingers loosen on the steering wheel, wanting to reach out and pull him back in, but they didn't. He didn't. Adam climbed out of the BMW, shoulders tense, worry lines carved into his face. Ronan turned the key in the ignition, and made a u-turn out of the lot, slowing the car to a creep. His eyes followed Adam's form in the rearview mirror as he trudged towards the trailer, up the steps, reaching for the handle.

The door flew open, harsh yellow light illuminating Adam's form. He was glowing, but nothing about the scene was beautiful. Ronan waited.

From the BMW, he watched Adam's father speak, though from this distance he couldn't make out what was being said. He watched Robert Parrish's features become distorted by rage. His fists were clenched at his side. He looked like he was ready for a fight.

Adam seemed to retreat into himself. Ronan watched the boy he knew fade into the boy he had only heard stories about. He watched as the man standing in the doorway reached forward and grabbed that scared little boy's collar, forcing him to look up. Ronan's foot eased off the gas pedal, effectively stopping the car. He watched as Robert Parrish yelled in his face, something about money, because it was always about money with Adam. He watched as he pulled his arm back, loading up a punch. He didn't see the fist connect so much as he experienced it. He heard the pop of knuckle on skull. He winced as if he had been hit, not Adam. He felt so helpless sitting in that car, unable to spare him the pain.

Adam's foot slipped off the step, and everything slowed to a glacial pace. For hours, Ronan watched the side of Adam's head connect with metal pipe, sending out a sharp crack that vibrated through Ronan's body. His foot slammed on the brake, though the BMW wasn't even in motion. He threw himself out of the car, doing all he could to keep from sprinting towards Adam, until he realized he didn't care and ran anyways.

"Oh, come on. Get up. Really." Ronan's blood was boiling, racing to his fists. He felt like he was on fire. He felt like one punch and Robert Parrish would burst into flames.

He saw Adam push himself up to his knees, his body swaying. Nothing was okay.

"You're not playing that game!" Robert Parrish's voice was grating in Ronan's skull. "I'm not going to stop talking about this just because you threw yourself on the ground. I know when you're faking, Adam. I'm not a fool. I can't believe you'd make this kind of money and throw it away on that damn school! All of those times you heard us talking about the power bill, the phone?"

Ronan felt like he was taking too long to get there, though only seconds had passed. Half his body felt weighed down with lead, or like he was trudging through sludge. But he knew he had to get there. Something was wrong with Adam, and he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

Adam's father stalked down the stairs, shoulders tensed for attack, looking every bit the coward he was, beating up his son on the front step.

He saw Robert Parrish's lips move, but he couldn't hear what he said this time. The blood was pumping so loud in his ears, it was deafening. He felt like _he_ had had his head smashes against a pole, not Adam. His eyes blurred for a moment, then snapped back into focus as Adam's father reached down and grabbed Adam by the collar again, yanking him up like he was a mangy mutt sniffing around his property, not his only son.

He heard Adam's gasps as he struggled for breath. The world was drowning in red. Ronan clenched his fist, thumb folded over his curled fingers, just like he'd taught Gansey, just like his father had taught him.

Robert Parrish looked over at Ronan, finally noticing he had an audience. "What do you want?"

"To do this." Ronan swung hard. In that moment, he was an extension of Adam's body. He had never punched anyone so hard in his life, never even wanted to. He drove his weight into the motion, one hundred and sixty pounds of pure muscle connecting with the side of Robert Parrish's face. With a sucker punch, there was always pain for the puncher, but not this time. Ronan's body was a live wire, a mess of rushing blood and exploding nerves, taut tendons and pulsating muscles, all zeroed in on one colossal piece of shit. Out of the corner of his eye, Adam staggered, and that split second of distraction was all it took for Robert Parrish to grab hold of his shirt.

He felt Adam's father propel him backward. Robert Parrish had seventeen years of experience beating up a child, but Ronan Lynch was no child. He pulled his knee up, driving into Parrish's gut, doubling him over. He felt a hand graze over his head, just before Parrish smashed his skull against Ronan's face. Ronan blinked hard, losing his focus for a moment, but he wasn't done yet. He wasn't done making that fucker pay. He vaguely registered that someone was screaming nearby.

Everything around them disappeared into darkness. There was only he and Robert Parrish. Ronan was light on his feet, savoring every punch, every kick, every drop of blood spilt. Ronan pulled up a punch that connected with Parrish's chin, his head knocking back at an uncomfortable angle. Parrish lunged for him, and Ronan managed to dodge out of the way, but his move was anticipated and an elbow connected with his jaw, taking him down. He saw Parrish rev his leg up for a kick, but he braced his arms in front of his face. He knew how to fight because of his dad, but Declan was the one who had taught him defense. Parrish lunged for him, but Ronan was quicker, lashing out and pulling him down to the ground, making the fight even.

They were rolling over each other, throwing punches, when he felt himself dragged off of Robert Parrish. His lips snarled up into a vicious smile when he saw the blood and blossoming bruises on his opponent's face, who was being pulled in the opposite direction by a cop.

The world was suddenly brighter. He let the person he realized was also a cop pull him away, not fighting back. Blue and white and red flashed in the corner of his vision, and he remembered Adam. His eyes scanned for him, and he strained against the officer's hold. He was slammed against a cop car, and he felt the cold metal of handcuffs slap against his wrists.

Several feet away, he saw an officer help Adam up off the ground, and his heart softened for a moment until he heard, "Boy, you're not okay. Have you been drinking?"

"Drinking! That goddamned son of a bitch beats the shit out of his fucking kid and YOU FUCKING ASK _HIM_ IF _HE'S_ BEEN DRINKING! Why don't you ask the fucking COWARD what fucking happened!"

He felt the cop shove him again, and though he had a slew of profanities waiting on the tip of his tongue, he didn't want to make things worse for Adam. Ronan may have been the one in cuffs, but Adam was the one who was trapped. The cop began to read him his Miranda rights.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." But the cop continued, guiding his head into the back of the police cruiser.

"I said, I've _got_ it man. Do you think I've never been in one of these before?"

Before the officer slammed the door in his face he caught four words that made his heart swell. Four words that told him everything had changed. Four words that made him confident that Adam would be alright, even if he knew this wasn't the way he had wanted it to happen.

"Ronan was defending me."


End file.
